‘Get busy living, or get busy dying.’
Know that line? It’s a classic from the movie ‘The Shawshank Redemption’.
I recently found myself contemplating this, and whether I was truly ‘getting busy living’. Having had a positive and powerfully transformative year, I didn’t feel like stalling my momentum…at least, not consciously. But in terms of my unconscious self, I wasn’t so sure. I began to feel uneasy that some part of me was running slightly counter to my good intentions. I noticed some resistance showing up…I was beginning to pull in some distractions, and then making excuses for them. It wasn’t necessarily easy to spot or own this about myself. But after watching Shawshank, I wondered if part of my unconscious self was ‘getting busy dying’, and that piece – however tiny or seemingly inconsequential – was still stuck in a prison cell of its own making. This inner enquiry led to me exploring and becoming more deeply honest about a hidden inner block.
Most of us have blocks, right? Stubborn little places. But they can be very difficult to spot because they’re often running things ‘covertly’…like a secret inner hand of fate appearing in our external life and slapping us rudely at an opportune moment.
In my case, the block had something to do with needing to course-correct around self-discipline and healthy habits, because I’d become a little lost in ‘distraction’. Maybe you know this one, yes? It’s worth pausing to look at distraction for a moment, because it sure is an effective way to blatantly or secretly hold you hostage for short or long periods of time.
Let’s be clear, though, in referring to ‘distraction’, in my case it showed up as a lot of online googling and wasting time watching pointless youtube clips. But ‘distractions’ can also be more hard-hitting, like addictions, co-dependencies, blaming parents or someone else for the past or how your life looks, and let’s not forget the good ol’ relationship ‘stuff’…boy, that one can have you ‘distracted’ from your own talents, abilities, and the life you truly want to create, for years. Even decades!
Look, even small distractions (like aimless googling) can really deadlock the forwarding of areas of your life, let alone getting trapped on bigger diversions. But let’s be honest, the distractions themselves are not what really lie at the heart of the matter. To get all caught up blaming the distraction itself does little more than perpetuate the consciousness behind the distraction. And it’s that particular state of consciousness that’s likely to keep you and your life in a closed loop.
So in order to evolve your life to a whole new level – if you want that – you’ll have to find a way out of your own consciousness cage…your own Shawshank. And along with a good dose of healthy self-honesty and reflection, this will likely take a level of concerted conscious effort (and maybe a little external guidance) to shift any covert pattern, habit or block.
As an author, entrepreneur and life coach, I’m constantly faced with having to be motivated and disciplined to achieve results. In terms of my temporary googling distraction, I had more than a sneaking suspicion that, deep down, I’d hit an internal snag of some sort…that I’d become trapped in my own consciousness cage.
After a little self-reflection about why I seemed to be constantly wasting thirty minutes here and there, bouncing from youtube clips as diverse as celebrity gossip and political craziness, to random stuff about how salmon jump and what’s on the dark side of the moon (random, I know), I got to wondering if the internal block perpetuating my google distraction was actually a part of me that was afraid of ‘getting busy living’…or more aptly, creating and living the life of my dreams.
Maybe this rings some bells for you? Perhaps you’re even noticing your own prison warning system has just been activated by reading this…that I’ve touched a nerve, raising something you’ve been ignoring for months or even years? Are you squirming internally, feeling a little irritated, anxious, or suddenly wanting to go make yourself a cuppa? Then stop it. Sit still and read on. Chances are high that some part of you KNOWS you’ve a handbrake on inside of you that is holding back a part of your life you’d like to positively transform.
So be honest, do you get caught up in various distractions and use them to block or delay some area of your life?
I’m betting so. Many people do.
Here’s the thing: wasting time or effort simply noticing or blaming the distraction itself won’t help you move in the direction you truly want to go. This isn’t because you don’t deserve a little moan about the distraction – (although, that’s likely to be a waste of your time), it has more to do with the covert reason INSIDE you that created the distraction in the first place. You may be generating, driving and perpetuating this in an effort to avoid something deeper. For example, maybe you’re avoiding finding out how you might feel if you got busy living ie. being successful, truly happy, healthy, creating a wonderful relationship, business or creative project…really living a life you want and feeling fully empowered in it.
If you happen to be avoiding great stuff like this, you might have an inner block of some kind. This could be coming from an internal construction that once served or saved you at an earlier point in life but has now become a hindrance. So it might be time to ask: what part of your inner identity do you need to let go of or positively transform?
For me, and maybe you too if you’ve read this far, the way forward and through to ‘getting busy living’ lies in tackling CAUSE, not symptom. And here’s something you probably aren’t going to want to hear: the solution is not in some quick-fix pill.
For me, I’ve found tremendous success in forwarding my life through the use of something I call RSR, which is not a new-fangled medical resuscitation technique or wrist-issue, by the way. Although, RSR is likely to revive your life and the areas you really and truly want to transform. In short, RSR can help you ‘get busy living’. But what is it?
Brace yourself…shocker: RSR = Radical-Self-Responsibility.
That’s right, Radical Self-Responsibility. Uggh. Really? Yes, really.
So how does RSR work?
Firstly, let me say that Radical Self-Responsibility is not for the faint-hearted – it’s more for the BIG-hearted…primarily because it can require a lot of self-love and compassion. But I can say that through many years of training, study and experience, I’ve learned that true (and inevitably more rapid) positive transformation generally arises from a place of Radical Self-Responsibility.
Radical Self-Responsibility requires being able to view yourself as the SOURCE of your experience. For example, observing life and everything you’re experiencing as something you’re actually creating…including the stuff you don’t like. Radical, huh. I mean, why would you create stuff that sucks, or holds you back? Why indeed.
Radical Self Responsibility can be a challenging and self-confrontational approach, and maybe you have to get to the very end of your tether with your distractions or old limiting patterns to take it on. But personally, I’ve found RSR to be one of the most empowering places to live from to help me get out of my own way and positively transform my life. Radical Self-Responsibility can be one of the fastest ways to help you shift out of places of disempowerment or victimization – ie, the notion that life is happening TO YOU – with any accompanying sense of helplessness, resentment, anger or despair that inevitably show up as companions.
I’ll write more about Radical Self-Responsibility, what it means and why it’s so powerful as a transformational tool, this year, because I think that if you’re up for transforming any area of your life in 2017 then you’re going to want to explore this idea of seeing yourself as the source of your experience. And here’s the thing, once you get over the hard part ie. taking yourself on and moving beyond any victimhood, blame, shame, guilt or procrastination, then life gets to be a whole lot more exciting, interesting and fun. And I’m betting that’s something you’d like.
I know, sometimes getting really clean about what we’re perpetuating or responsible for can feel kinda scary; sometimes really getting that you’re the one truly responsible for creating the life around you can be tough…most especially when it involves a part of you feeling victimized. But still, even if it’s only a tiny secret ONE PERCENT of you that might have colluded in that negative creation, then finding it, owning it and forgiving that part of you matters. In fact, it could be the very thing that helps you ‘get busy living’.
Personally, what I’ve discovered when I’ve dug deep enough beyond my own covert (and occasionally warped) barriers and constructions, is that – oddly – having ‘wonderful, exciting, successful, joyful and awesome’ can just feel plain scary and overwhelming – compared to an old friend like ‘comfortable dysfunction’ or ‘limited living’ ie. the part that might be ‘getting busy dying’, or at the very least, sleeping or living in zombie land.
So, I’ve now declared (and I hope you will too) 2017 to be my year of UNLIMITED POSSIBILITY. It’s a year of taking myself on at a whole new level, including greater contribution and ‘showing up.’ More love, life, joy, creativity, success, and a deeper commitment to creating what I really want. No more distractions, hiding out, procrastinations, aimless googling, or endless cleaning of house. Enough. It’s time to create and universally co-create that which I intend. After all, I am the source and the destination of all that’s possible in my life.
So are you.
Think about it: What are you creating right now in your life? What do you really want? And how committed are you to that journey?
Your choice. Get busy living, or get busy dying.